bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize