new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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