are you still at the devil's house?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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