I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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