i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
