JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
