you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i believe in u and ur pee
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
