I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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