Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
