i'm signing you up for texting rehab
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
