i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
