I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
