Say something about gay babies.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
