I can tuck mytits in my pants
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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