A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
