just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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