She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
