how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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