I showed him my bush... on skype.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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