someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
