I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
