I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
