do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
