my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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