I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
