Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
