she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
