Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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