I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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