I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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