It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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