My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize