pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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