Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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