Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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