You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
