I should be sponsored by Trojan
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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