We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize