And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
