Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
