he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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