FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
