I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
