sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
