Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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