Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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