ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
