just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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