You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
