So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
