he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
