After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
wow bdsm is so cute
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