I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
