Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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