I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Panties = found
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
