i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
