Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
