If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
